I Got Robbed Without Being There - or - Gimme My Money Back

$500 is all the money that I keep accessible to myself these days. Check that, KEPT. Someone stole it from an ATM at 4500 W North Ave block yesterday while I was at work.

WHILE I WAS FUCKING WORKING MY ASS OFF TO SCRAPE TOGETHER A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY SO THAT I CAN HAVE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF FUN IN MY REGULARLY VANISHING FREE TIME, SOME LOW LIFE ASSHOLE TOOK WHAT LITTLE MONEY I HAD. SOME SCUM SUCKING FUCK THAT ISN'T WORTH THE FUCKING CARBON HE OR SHE IS MADE OUT OF HACKED MY FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT AND WALKED AWAY WITH $500 OF MY HARD EARNED CASH!!

I'm pissed. I want my money back. I didn't even get to waste it on something stupid. The bank says that I will probably get the money re-credited to my account in a couple days, but until then it looks like I'll be buying dinner with laundry quarters. Will someone take me out on a date? Wine and dine me? I'll compliment your outfit and serenade you with Irish drinking songs. And that's what dating is really all about, right?