Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Da Boids, da actual boids

The miricle of life has happend on my back porch. Unfortunatly, two more pidgeons have been added to the world. Oswald and Gertrude. I had never seen baby pidgeons before this and let me tell you, they are ugly mofos! Here are some picturs of them a month ago and now.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Turkey town

4:30 wed morning memories:

I went places today, yesterday, that day that just passed for me. I went to 6 flags. Ohhhh boy. July 12, 2005 is the day that I had fun. I was crushed before my day started but, alas, that is not a story that I will tell you, ya random web browsing person. It was my birthday. I started out today with no contact from anyone I cared about. No one had written me an e-mail or a note or given me a phone call at midnight or nothin'. I was bitter. So I did what any bitter person in my situation would do, I went to an amusment park... to be amused. I was amused to say the least. Where 'shall' I start. I waiting in a 2 hour line, in the rain, at 11 am, to ride a 45 second rollercoaster. I've done some on the math and that means that I spent 0.6% of the 2 hours in that area actually enjoying a ride. But it was nice, nice, nice. (sings along to Andrew Bird for a second, no relation to the story that I'm trying to tell). It was a Superman ride, one where you are actually horizontal, and it blew my mind. After those 2 hours of waiting for seconds of satisfaction (why does that sentence bother me so much, hummmmm....) I went on every ride that the park had to offer. Batman, Vertical Velocity, De Ja Vu, Viper, American Eagle, Raging bull (aka Chang, don't worry we will get there), Iron wolf (which I [appropreatly] renamed Iron Wedggie), Hell-E-Vater, and the like. Then the water park, then back to the choice few rides that I could ride untill 10 pm. Here's what happened. Raging Bull... I've rode this ride before, in Louisville (come on, you can say it right: Louie-ville, or if you really know: Louavull. regahhhdles. This ride was called "Chang" the last time I rode it, and the last time I rode it was with my buddy from Louisville (I'm not walking you through proper pronounciation again, buddy) whose name in not Bill. It's Van. Yep, Van and I rode Chang. So there I was, face to face with Chang again so I called Van and said "I'm face to face with Chang again." I got on the ride and screemed like a 14 year old girl for less than 2 minutes. After dimembarking the ride, I noticed that my phone was missing. It had fallen... from 117 feet... at around 50 mph... and plumetted to it's doom. I walked back to the ride and some girl handed the remains of my phone. 3 chunks of phone. Yes, I said chunks. Not being too upset with that, I continued to ride things, the best of which was the swings. You heard me, the swings. It was the perfect 1.2 minute power nap. Then I returned to Chicago and got drunk, wait, let me capatolize that, DRUNK with Dan (who rode Chang with me) and Dave, who is my boss. After punching and being punched by them repeatedly, I figured that my night was over, so I came back to my house and my broken computer and got on my room-mates mac and wrote this... i know that i am forgetting things... like the title of this one. Turkey town. Synopsis... At the top of the Superman ride, you know, the part where you are being cranked up the big hill really slowly and all the blood rushes to your head for the few miliseconds before it all is forced to the tips of your toes when the rest of the train goes over the top most hump and your now bloodless face flaps like a flag of flesh in a huricane. Well, at that point, right before the last car went over the edge and all of my five senses were ablaze with anticipation, I yelled out "take me to Turkey Town" for reasons only I will know. Next thing I heard was a 14 year old girl next to me crying out, "I don't want to go to Turkey Town!" in the type of voice that only a 14 year old girl in fear of her life can create. Turkey Town, here I come.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Living in the tub

This morning, at 3pm, I woke up and tried to put last night’s events together in the correct sequence. I figured this was necessary for many reasons: 1) my room mate had written me a note saying "It's important for you to talk to the neighbors". 2) My pants were in the toilet 3) There were 14 messages on my voice mail 4) In my bed, there were the parts of 3 different burritos.

I have now figured out what has happened and am happy to relay last night events to you, just don't tell my patents.

For my job I do live sound, recording engineering and I'm an office monkey for a 21 piece wedding orchestra. For the last week, each of these jobs required a lot of work, and on average I worked about 13 hours a day, every day for the last 9 or 10 days (yes, this includes weekends which are usually longer than weekdays). Monday was my first day off in over a week so I spent it on my roof, reading Homers Odyssey in true geek fashion. My roommate invited me to go to a baseball game. The Cubs lost, and we all decided to get drunk, so we did. 3 car bombs, 3 shots, and an unknown amount of beer later (I think I had somewhere between 5 and 8 beers), I left the bar with a full beer spilled on my shorts. We were going to my friend Dan’s apt to do more drinking, which we did. 2 shots of Jack Daniels and more unknown amounts of beer later (I'm guessing around 4 am), my shorts were still soaked with beer and I could barely stand up. I figured that this would be a great time to walk home, which I did in a zig-zag sort of way. I stopped at the 24 hour burrito joint and got three burritos, which was the remainder of my money. When I got home, I went to bed fully dressed and started to eat my burritos in bed. Remembering that I had spilled a full beer on myself, I got out of bed but left my burritos there, and stumbled to the bathroom where I promptly threw up. Next I decided to take a shower, which quickly turned into a bath when I realized that I could not longer stand up. Some time later my room mate barged into the bathroom yelling "Turn the water off! Get out of the tub!" This was in addition to our door bell ringing over and over and someone pounding on our front door. It seems that I had passed out while filling the tub with water and the water had flowed over the side of the tub and was now filling the bathroom. When my room mate opened the door he said there were about 3 inches of water on our floor. The bell was ringing because the person banging on our front door was getting no response and had sent her daughter to ring the door bell repeatedly. The person banging on our front door was our downstairs neighbor who’s apt was also filling up with water. Not believing any of this was true, and being too drunk to take any real action, I fell back asleep in the tub after turning the water off. Next, my room mate started throwing towels and what not on our floor yelling at me to "get up and clean up this mess" which was a perfectly reasonable request at 5:10am under the circumstances. I got out of the tub and promptly waddled to my room naked, in front of the downstairs neighbor, her daughter, and my room mate, grabbed some clean towels and dirty clothes and threw them on the floor of the bath room, or at least tried to. I ended up throwing my shorts, which were still soaked with beer, into the toilet, wallet, cell phone, pda and all. Then I waddled back to my room naked and overheard my neighbor yelling wildly with her daughter in Spanish. I once again passed out. Maybe a half hour later, there was more banging on my front door. This time I put on some boxers. It was my land lord. He came in a yelled at me some more, shook his head and asked if I was sleeping in the bath tub, to which I replied "nope," a blatant lie. Noticing that my shorts were in the toilet, I retrieved my cell, my wallet and my pda and returned the still soaked shorts to the toilet and tired to get some sleep. At 3pm I awoke and noticed that I had 14 messages on my cell, all of which pertained to the events of that morning. I am not going out for a beer tonight.

Friday, June 03, 2005


Originally uploaded by obsquatch.
see, naked and a cowboy

the creation

Well, i figured what the world needs now is another blog. Tada! Today I spend the day in a cowboy hat and boxer shorts. I've accomplished nothing except for a few e-mails, a tasty burger and this here blog. I've been working like a dog for the last few weeks, even over the memprial day weekend, so a lil break is fine, even if I don't put on any pants. So there.