Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A Reprinting Of A Reprinting - or - The Return of Odysseus By George Bilgere

The following prose was featured on Garrison Kiellor's,The Writers Almanac, a daily broadcast of famous birthdays, happenings, and blunders on NPR. Find it online at writersalmanac.publicradio.org.

The Return of Odysseus
by George Bilgere

When Odysseus finally does get home
he is understandably upset about the suitors,
who have been mooching off his wife for twenty years,
drinking his wine, eating his mutton, etc.

In a similar situation today he would seek legal counsel.
But those were different times. With the help
of his son Telemachus he slaughters roughly
one hundred and ten suitors
and quite a number of young ladies,
although in view of their behavior
I use the term loosely. Rivers of blood
course across the palace floor.

I too have come home in a bad mood.
Yesterday, for instance, after the department meeting,
when I ended up losing my choice parking spot
behind the library to the new provost.

I slammed the door. I threw down my book bag
in this particular way I have perfected over the years
that lets my wife understand
the contempt I have for my enemies,
which is prodigious. And then with great skill
she built a gin and tonic
that would have pleased the very gods,
and with epic patience she listened
as I told her of my wrath, and of what I intended to do
to so-and-so, and also to what's-his-name.

And then there was another gin and tonic
and presently my wrath abated and was forgotten,
and peace came to reign once more
in the great halls and courtyards of my house.

"The Return of Odysseus" by George Bilgere.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Deux Petits Bateaux - or - The Power Of The Sword Of Omens

One wintery spring evening in early 2005, I walked into a local pud wearing a Thundercats tee-shirt. Recognizing a fellow nerd, two strangers named Tom and Tom bought me a beer, handed it too me, and lifted their glasses with a hardy "HO!!!" Less than a week later, I was in Tom's living room (across the street and two floors above the local pub in question) playing bass with them. They were starting a gypsy/calipso/surf/jazz band named Mar Caribe. I was intrigued and became obsessed with ukulele and banjo duet Tom and Tom had written named Little Boat. I turned down a chance to be the bass player in Mar Caribe and can honestly say that I missed out on playing some great songs with some great musicians. This lil' beauty popped up on the interwebs yesterday...

Deux Petits Bateaux from Kate Raney on Vimeo.

Listen to Mar Caribe here. Buy their album. I'm sure there is nothing like it in your giant stack of CDs. And give me sight beyond sight while you're at it.

In related news, holy fucking shit.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Potable Quotes - or - Drinkable Thinks

Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree...