Wednesday, April 02, 2008

What Is That Huge Glowing Ball Rising Out Of The Horizon - OR - Ouch, My Life Style Hurts

I’m up at 6:30 am, again. I know why. It’s because my lifestyle is changing. I’m about to head out for a 3-mile morning run to watch the sun rise over the lake. Then, I’m going to the bank to deposit money into my savings account. I’ll probably stop by a coffee shop that supports 3rd world coffee farmers. After that, I’ll head to work and sell some $500 indoor plants to people with 41st floor condos with UV treated windows who will end up killing the plant in a matter of months but will be back to buy another couple of $500 plants to also slowly torture to death. I can hear those plants crying from here. Whoops, I better hurry if I want to make the sunrise. Who the fuck do I think I am?


  1. Anonymous8:52 AM

    Considering that only two years ago you were chain smoking cigarettes and waking up at 12 noon at the earliest, I too am surprised.
    I suppose the next logical steps would be to get into baking the perfect creme brulee and getting a cat named 'pookey-face.'

  2. Dear Anonymous,
    Obviously you've never tried my Banana Prue Chicken Stew. It is a taste sensation, similar only to being smacked in the mouth with a flaming bowling ball covered in angry, yet friendly, fire ants. I'll make it for you someday if my kitty, Fluffy, will ever stop being so cute and let me get some knitting done.
    -Chef Obsquatch

  3. holy shit. you're totally getting a cat named 'pookey-face'.

    and it was more like 2:00pm.

  4. Yep. Pookey-face. The hemp pet collar will be the clincher...with those pink sparkles, you will be the envy of the free range neighborhood, Crunchy Boy.