Monday, December 21, 2009

In Recent News - or - Lust For Worklessness

I am currently two hours and forty two minutes late for work and I honestly don't have a care in the world. I drooled in my sleep last night, which is always indicative of a need for more sleep. I fell asleep with lights on, books open, a ukulele across my chest, schedules ignored, emails half written, and a haze of exhaustion so thick that I needed a ice scraper to remember last name, which evidently is Ice Scraper. Baron Obsquatch Von Ice Scraper the Nothingth of Uke-Uke. Behold.

I've spent my conscious morning away from work realizing that I haven't had any time off of recent past. As the minutes slip by in which I should have been selling poinsettias to white people, I've calculated that of the last fifty days, I've had four days to myself, which were usually spent in bed, drooling. And don't think that the forty six days that I've spent working were simple little days. Oh no, that would be folly. The busiest days of the year and I the longest days of the year were lined up for me over the past six weeks, and I've been handcuffed to a radiator of responsibility just waiting for them. So two hours and now, fifty two minutes into my shift without me being there doesn't seem so bad. I know that will change come January first, when my schedule and my savings account will most likely resemble a mime in the middle of a mine field, silently yet over enthusiastically blow to tiny unrecognizable bits of what once was, but in all honesty, I look forward to a time like that. Not recognizing my schedule after dealing with the schedule I've been dealing with can only be a good thing. I have a new job lined up, which I am excited 'bout. I have a plan to get some classes under my belt this spring. I have business relationships that are starting to solidify into potential career opportunities, and I have a drool stained pillow case. These are all good indicators of the success of the Baron Von Ice Scraper clan, which currently has a roster of one, and I'm shoeless and in my underwear, almost three hours late for work, typing a blog.

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