Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Change, Loss, And Other Verbs - or - I Got This Lil Grin Goin' Today

A month ago, I admitted that I had a problem that only I could solve. I started the cogs of a self-improvement machine, an experiment in self-control and decision-making. It started with a damn cold run along the lake, as well as the purchase of a couple of dumbbells and a small note pad that I now carry around with me where ever I go. It was time to start feeling more better, more often, without morphine.

A week ago, I signed up for a group, a class, and a change of personal philosophy.

Yesterday, I climbed. I was the only one to reach the top, and when I got back down to the floor, my forearms were burning, my fingers were numb and without any sensation, I was covered in sweat, and smiling like a madman.

Today I jumped at opportunity. It's more of a leap. Of blind faith. Off a cliff. In the dark. I don't know where I'll land, but I sure like falling.

Tomorrow, I play. My bands are getting out there more and more, playing better and better gigs for more and more people. Imelda and I have reconnected and will play a show together. My muses are in full swing and I am inspired to play my heart out like a madman.

I know what I want in my mind, in my heart, and in my life. And for the first time, I am doing everything I can to make it all happen. I am changing what didn’t work and focusing on what I know I want.

A lot of sad things have happened in my hometown lately. Unexpected deaths, seemingly unnecessary and unfortunate events, and my family, my friends, my community, and I are morning the loss of some very good people. It makes me realize that I shouldn’t wait to run and write and climb and jump and play and change. This is all the time we get, and I don’t want to waste it being angry at nothing, or at least nothing that I can't change. Instead I’m taking aim at what I want, what will make me feel like the man that I want to become. I will grab life by the…



Here are some links that make me feel good.
Charles Sparin's Happiness Project
Do Make Say Think is an instrumental band with a bunch of verbs for a name.
Storycatchers Theater does honest hard hitting theater with youth, some of whom are doing hard time, honest.
APTP will change the world, one play at a time.
I Love This World is a blog about the good things in life some of us forget to see.

6 comments:

  1. Blue's Traveler - "The Hook"

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  2. I got my own Url wrong hahaha! Coffee really does make you hyper as shit eh? Jesus I feel like I could save a school bus full of children from flying off a fuckin cliff...

    509-845-0607

    b.walker*

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  3. krumbine7:49 AM

    Sounds good, my friend.

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  4. i love rock climbing...it truly is an amazing feeling to reach the top!

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  5. [quote]It makes me realize that I shouldn’t wait to run and write and climb and jump and play and change. This is all the time we get, and I don’t want to waste it being angry at nothing, or at least nothing that I can't change. Instead I’m taking aim at what I want, what will make me feel like the man that I want to become.[/quote]

    Aside from the running part(joke), this resonates, big time

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  6. Permission to come aboard, cap'n?
    This is the mindset that I strive to dwell in. The exact shade I want to see the world in at all times.
    I love nothing more than to see someone (i care about) on the same wavelength... its inpsiring, its invigorating, it makes me tingle in my special place.
    I'm so happy that you're doing all these things, and I've got my pom-poms handy for whenever you need a little boost.

    Fuck. If I could only make feelings like this last a bit longer.

    Oh and PS : The Kiwi is pretty damn close to my favorite fruit.

    ReplyDelete