Obsquatch Update - or - What Did Number Five Ever Do For Me?

1) I bought five new head bands and an eye patch. I've already gone out drinking with the eye patch on under my glasses. The bartender gave me a free drink.
2) I have played six shows with three bands over the last four weeks. I made $23.
3) A client of mine has given me a six and a half foot cactus which I have put in front of my bedroom window. Closing my blinds is now a bloodletting ritual.
4) I think I want to be Canadian for a little while. Either that or a firetruck. Or both?
5) Fuck number five.
6) Icus is about to shed. Right before he does, his eyes turn bright blue. He now falls asleep while wrapped around my neck or coiled up on my chest. We be tight, Icus and I.
7) I recently hung out on a rooftop on Derby Day. There were hats and horses and bacon and Mint Juleps. Only one party goer brought a true Derby hat, complete with flowers and miniature horses glued to the brim. She looked hot.
8) All good lists have only five items.
9) Next weekend I am going to a wedding in Louisville. The groom is a rock drummer and has been a damn good friend of mine since the second we met almost ten years ago. I have yet to get him a wedding present but I know exactly what it will be; a glass photo box that has the words, "Love Conquers All" neatly etched on it. Inside, rather than a photo of the beautiful couple on some exotic beach holding hands and smiling, will be a Darth Vader figurine.
10) Fuck number five.