Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Come On In, The Water's Great - or - Keep Me Away From Sharp Edges

I am perfectly sick of failing.

School, carriers, women, happiness. Fail fail fail fail. Fuck.

A good friend of mine once said, “you can’t wait for something good to happen to you. You’ve got to risk it all and go get it for yourself.” That is only great advice if everything you touch doesn’t instantly turn to shit.

Gimme a week, I’ll be fine, but for now I’m in a whirlpool of bullshit. I'm gonna go get drunk.


  1. Actually, the way I look at it is, you can only get what you want... in all probability, through a specific action. It makes no sense to debate doing the action. Your mind is too fixated on the goal... the wish, that everything will turn out ok. In truth, there is a likelihood it won't turn out ok. But so what? The point again is to do the action, and to do it as well as you can do. You'd have a certain "most efficient way" of performing this action... so just do that. Focus on whether or not this action is being done to the best of your ability rather than the goals you care about. Irregardless, by doing something in the positive direction, you would have achieved something... it's just that we aren't always aware of (or care about) the little things of great meaning to our lives.

  2. Well, at least you're well accomplished at failing. Maybe you should put that on your resume:

    A LIFETIME OF FAILING -- this is enabled me to handle most any disappointment, no matter how extreme. If you need a fail guy, I'm your loser!

    Hm ... that could be a good premise for a movie. Obviously, the film would be titled "FAIL".

    In all seriousness, perhaps you just need a change of perspective. Or a shift back to a previous perspective. Like when we first met. Yeah, you were unemployed, depressed, womanless, and generally miserable in life, but hey: you just found some awesome people on youtube and that was pretty cool for a while.

    I know that I've been so low before that my shift in thinking ended up like this:

    Yeah, my life is utter balls. But at least I'm still breathing. Yay.

    Focus on the things that make you happy and work on eliminating the things that don't. If nothing is making you happy, get the fuck outta dodge.

  3. wh00p! Lupy's really slacking off ... my comment TOTALLY whooped his has in length.

    And we all know it's the size that matters.

  4. Its all going to be ok....*strokes Obsquatch's forehead*

  5. Holy fuck. It's my favorite e-people.

    Lupine - I agree that trying and failing has valuable lessons, but it also leaves vulnerable lesions. After a life lashing like this year has doled out to me, I just might check myself into a rubber room and ask them to feed me and bathe me and... *ahem*... milk me for booze, and medicate me to the high heavens with happy pills and I can watch the rest of the world slip away while I drool. The only thing I've learned since yesterday is to keep my phone off when I'm pissy because there is at least one person who isn't gonna talk to me again after some poor choices of timing on my part. At least one. Maybe there is value in failing, but only when you use previous failures to achieve success. I seem to be stuck at step one for now. This is by no means a permanent disposition. Like I said, gimme a week, and a bottle of bourbon, and I'll be fine again.

    Heather Maria - I love the rain. I could use a hurricane to my advantage. Here's one of my favorite rain quotes. "All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain." Blade Runner
    The next line is, time to die, but that seems a little to goth for a blog that also features the recipe for Fuzzy Navels.

    Krumbine - Whether you are neck deep in shit or knee deep in shit, you are still in a large pile of shit. Thanks for reminding me how far I've come, and how far I need to go to get the stink off. But you are right, and not a day goes by that I don't think about packing it all up and heading back to Vermont to open an Irish pub so that I will always have a drinking partner. If I use "Zombies Are People Too" coasters, will you give me a large pile of money?

    Em - I am like a dog in the fact that a good head rub or back scratch will pull me out of the most brooding depression. How'd you know?

    So I say to you four, and to anyone else who reads this, I know I'm a little bitch sometimes. Now you do, too. So can we just accept it and go out and scrape up a couple of laughs? I would simply make my day. I got the first round.

  6. Yes, yes. You are a little bitch. But you are our little bitch.

  7. P.S. What's a carrier and how do you fail at one?