I've been told I'm an a-hole, a jerk and that I'm brutal. I agree, but the experiment must continue to it's bitter and ill-conceived, yet genius conclusion; a real date from a Craigslist posting. I will eventually put up a real ad for my-lonely-self on Craigslist and ask one of the people who responds to it to go out on a real date. I know that I am condemning myself to either of the following situations.
1) No one will respond to the ad and I will feel shattered because a business man with the entertainment value of a pile of rocks and a basement-dwelling, video game designer are, in fact, cooler than I am or ever will be.
2) I will go on a date, end up being bored in the first 10 minutes and tell her about the experiment. As a result, I will get a pitcher of ice water poured on my head, slapped in the face, stuck with the bill and never hear from her again. I will then live the rest of my life as I had lived it up to that point, but living with the shame in knowing that I had been rightfully slapped in the face for being a douche-pump.
3) I will be found out. Not necessarily about this project, just found out in general. I have many secretes and any one of them could destroy me.
4) I will lose interest in the project, spend days repenting for all of the lying-to-women I've been doing and... wanna ride bikes?
5)Meet the woman of my dreams, fall madly in love and live happily ever after.
I'm TOTALLY counting on #5. But in the meantime, here is my most favorite song of all time, ever. It's been stuck in my head since the wedding a month ago and was the theme music for the bachelor party. Enjoy!