Friday, October 05, 2007

CLP #7:“This May Seem Like Gibberish To You, But I Think I’m In A Tragedy.”

Craig's List Project #7

Backfire [bak-fahyuhr] [intransitive verb] – A plan or action that rebounds adversely on the originator; to have the opposite effect of what was intended.

A few years ago I discovered that using swear words in sentences to increase the validity and intensity of a statement or opinion was futile and counterproductive. More over, it made me look dumber. Dumber than what, you might ask? Just plain dumber. I started to doubt the marvel and stirring majesty of something that was “fucking awesome,” and rightfully so. Replacing class with crass to get a point across was a mistake that I made for years as an idiot. It backfired. By dropping F-bombs, telling fart jokes and making indecent comments about one’s mother, I got a bit of the stink stuck on me. The same idea holds true for Blogging.

What was meant to be a laughable experiment in exploiting the rampant idiocy of the personals section of Craig’s List, ended up being an unpleasantly ironic adventure in self debasement, emotional detachment and personal humiliation as I basically put my self respect through a cheese grater. At first, I thought it was funny. By being totally dishonest, I honestly thought that I was funny. And I probably was. But the whole project changed as I moved from looking at it from an ‘anyone looking for companionship on Craig’s List is comically socially screwed up and must be humiliated,’point of view, to a project that made me feel like, ‘I am some kind of heartless, soulless monster for seeking out people to humiliate in a context where they are looking for companionship. I am socially screwed up and that is humiliating.’ I am only talking about my take on my own actions. I’ve gotten plenty of comments from friends and strangers that would be much more destructive had they used less swear words. I guess the F-word is a blessing in disguise.

Again, I ask myself, “Hey dipshit! This isn’t a question!” That’s true. I guess I don’t ask myself that, but, “Hey dipshit! What’s the point?” seems to be a recurring conundrum. And after asking myself this enough times, I started to figure out how self-centered I actually am, conscientiously and sub-conscientiously. I wanted to know about other folks, how ridiculous and shallow they are, how they would react to what I thought was minimal stimulation. I learned more about myself. I ended up learning that I could easily deceive people into amusing me. I also learned that I like deceiving people who I think are simple, which means that I am selfish, deceptive and shallow when I put my mind to it. On top of all that, I learned that I need to find a real girlfriend, which means that I’ve got to stop being selfish, stop being deceptive, and stop being a fucking dipshit... or stop being a dip.


  1. Anonymous12:02 AM

    hey, if you're looking for a real girlfriend, i heard about this thing online called craigslist. it's a little awkward, i'm sure, to try out something as desperate as internet dating but, hey, you never know, right? your true love could be out there alone one night, surfing the net in search of entertainment. if you leave a missed connection for "real girlfriend," maybe she'll find you. then you really won't be a dip anymore. goodluck!

  2. Huh.

    Dip and shit. You could be in the band U2? That works well. Definitely. A band is the way to go. Get in a band.

  3. I'll be your girlfriend if you start using spell check. I'm shallow too.

    But I kiss good.

  4. It's a deel, Grase.