My Favorite Mini-Chapter Betwixt Real Chapters - or - Someone Else Wrote This

""You're missing the point," she said. "What you're saying makes sense in theory, but not in practice. You're trying to compare apples and oranges."
"Why do you keep saying that?" he asked in response. "Apples and oranges aren't that different, really. I mean, they are both fruit. Their weight is extremely similar. ?they both contain acidic elements. They're both roughly spherical. They serve the same social purpose. With the possible exception of a tangerine, I can't think of anything more similar to an orange than an apple. If I was having lunch with a man who was eating an apple and - while I was looking away - he replaced that apple with an orange, I doubt I'd even notice. So how is this a metaphore for difference? I could understand if you said, 'That's like comparing apples and uranium,' or 'That's like comparing apples with baby wolverines,' or 'That's like comparing apples with the early work of Raymond Carver,' or 'That's like comparing apple with hermaphroditic ground sloths.' Those would all be valid examples of profound disparity. But not apples and oranges. In every meaningful way, they're virtually identical."
"You're missing the point," she said again, this time for different reasons."

-Chuck Klosterman
Sex, Drugs, And Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto